Dear ABBY: Please give me a tactful way to explain to my son and daughter-in-law that their “born again” religious pressure makes me uncomfortable and I am not interested in changing my views in any way? – CONTENT IN THE EAST
DEAR CONTENT: Thank your sweet son and daughter-in-law for their concern and declare that you are content with your soul as it is. Then ask them to please stop bringing it up because, when they do, it makes you uncomfortable.
Dear ABBY: I have been talking to a man for a little over a year. Things are great between us, but he doesn’t seem to want to commit. It’s not like I feel like he’s using me for sex, because he shows me around with his friends, we go out, and he texts or calls every day.
He is kind and I have nothing bad to say about him. BUT, when I mention going further, he runs in the opposite direction. He bows and I barely get a word out of him. How can things be so great but he’s so unsure if he wants me to be his official girlfriend?
We act like each other’s significant others without having the title. We have taken many vacations together and he trusts me to watch his house when he is out of town. I feel confused and as much as I hate to admit it, I’m hurt. I know he cares about me, but at what point is it time for me to move on? — MADE IN MISSOURI
DEAR DEAR: Your question is valid. You’ve been seeing someone for a little over a year who has made it clear that he wants to keep his options open. Because he refuses to discuss the matter, you have to decide how much more time you think is practical to invest in a relationship that may go nowhere. After that, set a deadline and be prepared to move forward.
You seem to want different things. I cannot make such a personal decision for you; this is something you will have to decide on your own.
DEAR ABBY: You’ve printed letters from readers asking what to do with old love letters (either before they die or when found after a death). Let me share my story.
One evening, shortly after our mother died, my siblings and I were going through some of her things and came across correspondence between her and our stepfather, written before they were married. My sister and I started putting them in chronological order and took turns reading them out loud. The content was spicy (their behavior was somewhat rough!).
Our brother covered his ears, pretending that his mother would never behave that way! My sister and I, on the other hand, laughed and enjoyed learning about these intimate and romantic details of the early days of their relationship. My (adult) daughter’s eyes were puffy, but I reminded her that Grandma was her age once, just like me!
My advice is to treasure these precious memories and save them for your children and grandchildren. As for us, we have scanned the letters into our family’s digital archive so that they are available for future generations. – DESIRE TO DISTRIBUTE
ONLY DEAR: Thanks for sharing. Not all people are comfortable thinking of their parents as sexual beings. If your mother was as “fruitful” as the letters indicated, I hope you labeled them “X-rated” so they don’t shock more members of your family.
Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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